Walk by Faith, not by Feelings
So many times in our marriage relationship we tend to base every decision, spoken word, and/or action on our feelings; how we feel. This, however, is not supposed to be our guide or determiner for our lives. Our feelings and emotions are a strong force within us that we need to control and understand. God gave them to us so we use them as barometer in every situation we face. Todd & I often tell couples in our Lifecoaching sessions that “if you base a decision on your feelings you will make the wrong decision.” Just think about it, if Jesus would have decided to call all the angels of heaven to rescue him, (which he could have), off the cross because He “felt” all the disgusting pain of our sins, we would not have “forgiveness” of our sins! I’m not saying our feelings are sinful but they can be temptations that lead to sin and the enemy loves to use them against us, especially in our marriage relationship. We have to have our faith strong in the Lord so that He is our guide and not our feelings. In Ephesians 6:16 it says “….in addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one.” We have to trust God, no matter how we feel!
Psalm 34:5 (msg) says “Look at Him! Give Him your warmest smile. Never hide your feelings from Him”. Take your feelings and anxieties to God first before anyone else and let Him have control. In our marriages we often get our feelings hurt then we get upset, mad, vengeful, sarcastic, and the list goes on…! Our hurt feelings, if not dealt with cause anxiety in our heart and then we harbor it there, which is dangerous for our relationship because it gives birth to fear, resentment, unforgiveness…! This brings us to a place of darkness. Can you see the process of decline when we don’t have faith enough in our Lord to take every part of us and help us? WE have to run to God when we “feel” mad, sad, hurt, because He is the only light in our life that can dispel that darkness. Read 1 John 1:5-7, it tells us that God is our light, so if we walk in darkness (like when we are feeling sorry for ourselves), then how can we say we live for Him?
So the moral of this is that we need to remember the next time our spouse hurts our feelings or makes us mad, first go to the Lord and get it out in the open with Him, second let Him strengthen your faith in Him to take care of you, that means trust Him! Your relationship will be so much better, no matter what!